“Thank you.” These two simple words carry significant weight when someone has done something kind for you. Whether it’s a colleague, a friend, or a family member, we use them daily to express appreciation. In philanthropy, these words are at the heart of showing gratitude for support.
Years ago, I consciously decided to be more intentional with my words of appreciation. I reserved “thank you” for thoughtful yet casual acts like a stranger holding the door open. For deeper expressions of gratitude toward loved ones, teammates, and friends, I began using “I appreciate you.” These words communicate more than thanks—they say, “I see you, I acknowledge the investment of your time and talents, and I am grateful for you as a person.”
I started this practice while managing a small theater with a young, energetic team. I wanted them to know their contributions were seen, valued, and vital to our mission. Shifting my language fostered a culture of appreciation and recognition that motivated and empowered the team.
Years later, while working at a larger nonprofit, my team read The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Paul White. Having read Dr. Chapman’s original The Five Love Languages, I was intrigued by how these principles could apply professionally. During this time, I had a lightbulb moment—I had unknowingly been applying many of these practices all along.
Understanding the Five Languages of Appreciation
One of the love languages highlighted in the book is Words of Affirmation. For individuals who value this, hearing sincere words of encouragement and recognition can significantly boost their engagement and morale. Expressing specific praise, whether publicly in a meeting or privately in a conversation, helps people feel valued and seen. Saying “Great job on that project. You made a big impact!” or writing a heartfelt thank-you email can make a lasting impact.
The book outlines four other languages of appreciation that can deepen workplace relationships:
1. Acts of Service
Providing help or assistance can show appreciation by lightening someone’s workload or stepping in during a busy period. However, ensuring the act is genuinely helpful and doesn’t come across as micromanaging or intrusive is essential.
2. Receiving Gifts
Thoughtful tokens or gestures can express gratitude in a meaningful way. Personalized gifts, such as a handwritten note or a small item that reflects the recipient’s interests, demonstrate that you’ve taken the time to recognize their individuality.
3. Quality Time
For some, focused attention is the most valuable way to feel appreciated. Scheduling uninterrupted listening time, engaging in meaningful conversation, or participating in team-building activities can strengthen relationships and foster trust.
4. Physical Touch
Appropriate physical gestures, like a handshake, pat on the back, or fist bump, can convey support and camaraderie. However, it’s critical to consider cultural norms, workplace appropriateness, and personal comfort levels when using this language.
Building a Culture of Appreciation
Personalizing your approach to appreciation is key, as not everyone feels valued in the same way. Recognizing and acting on an individual’s primary language of appreciation can make your recognition more meaningful and impactful. This practice improves morale, enhances job satisfaction, and reduces turnover. In virtual or work-from-home environments, getting creative with applying the languages of appreciation—such as hosting virtual coffee chats for quality time or sending thoughtful e-cards for words of affirmation (I suggest Kudoboard) —can ensure that team members still feel valued and connected.
Ultimately, expressions of gratitude should be genuine and tailored to the recipient. Misaligned attempts can feel insincere or even counterproductive, undermining their purpose. By embracing a culture of intentional appreciation, you can strengthen relationships, build a positive workplace environment, and create a team that feels valued and connected.
Final Thoughts on Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful tool for transforming workplace relationships. Whether through words of affirmation, acts of service, or simply spending quality time with a colleague, small acts of appreciation can leave a lasting impression. As leaders and teammates, let’s make it a priority to express gratitude thoughtfully, meaningfully, and consistently. After all, everyone deserves to feel seen, valued, and appreciated. I appreciate you!
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